Friends at the Martyn Funeral Home shared this obituary, originally posted by the London Free Press.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when
well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports
of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened
his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked
teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in
disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further
when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun
lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a
student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common
Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common
Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in
your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common
Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his
wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son,
Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
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