Where the Rubber Hits the Road

A brother priest sent along few more punchlines about the reputation of some of our religious order brothers. They put a smile on my face. If you're at all familiar with the greater Catholic community, I think they'll do the same for you. I got a kick out of your posting of Jesuit jokes on your blog. Another set of jokes has to do with the Jesuits’ and Basilians’ reputation as poor liturgists. This reputation (myth?) has occasioned a number of one-liners: “He was as lost as a Jesuit in Holy Week.” “A good Jesuit liturgy is one where nobody gets hurt.” “A good Basilian liturgy is one where everyone in the sanctuary has a place to sit down.”  

One day a priest was visiting one of his parishioners, and, asking about her teenage son, discovered that she was worried about what career he would choose. The priest said he could tell by a simple test. He put on the coffee table a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. "If he chooses the Bible," the priest told her, "that's a sign he's destined for the priesthood. If he chooses the wallet, he's called to be a banker. And if he chooses the bottle of scotch, he's bound to become a bum." The teenager came in and the priest told him he could have any object on the table. The boy picked up all three. "Oh no!" the priest shouted. "He's going to be a Jesuit!" Click on link to read the rest of the jokes! Siris: Jesuit Jokes

Fr. Michael Smith, a brother priest of the Diocese of Pembroke and my 'next door neighbor', even though he is an hours drive away on the other side of the Ottawa River. He posted this morning that there was a commotion during one of his masses. When the mass came to an end and he inquired about the source of agitation, he was told that a groundhog had wondered in the door and decided to partake in the liturgy, much to the consternation of the denizen's of those precious pews closest to the exit. He mused that there was probably a joke in there someplace and someone on Facebook gave it a shot. A groundhog walks into a church on Ash Wednesday. " How long until Easter, Father ?" he asks the Priest. " After six weeks of Lent ," says the Priest. " And if you had seen your shadow ?" asks the groundhog. It reminded me of the last mass I celebrated as the assistant at our Diocesan cathedral. A bat had awoken in the dead of winter and made his w...

Pizza Pizza... I want to order an extra large! Silly me! Here I thought it was because I ate too much!! Why Going to Church Can Make You Fat - TIME Healthland

Given the fact that it's the end of March and the temperature outside is -17C (with windchill -27C), maybe a hot rum toddy would be a better alternative. Just so long as it won't result in a rush to the bathroom as my municipal water line is frozen AGAIN (2nd time in 3 weeks - last time cost $784 to repair). SIGH! It s "Buy Your Priest a Beer" Week! | Blogs | NCRegister.com

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?" Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday.. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat." The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?" Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all." With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile...

Each Friday night after work, sun, snow or rain, Jack , being a Newfie, would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a moose steak. But all of Jack's neighbours were Catholic. And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled moose steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.  The priest came to visit Jack, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Jack attended Mass, and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said: "You were born a Protestant and raised a Protestant, but now you are a Catholic." Jack's neighbours were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled moose filled the neighbourhood. The priest was called immediately by the neighbours, and, as he rushed into Jack's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement. There...